The thing is, I don't know if I have any "real" friends. Don't get me wrong, I have tons of aquantiances that I am certainly friendly with - but I don't think I have any close friends (besides my wife if you count her). The reason I say this is because I've been living a lie, wearing a full body suit and mask of the wrong gender my entire life. No one besides my wife knows the real me - and even that might not be 100% true as I'm still working on understanding 100% of me myself. 😟
I've always had this wall, this barrier to the real me - pretending to be something I'm not. With that ever present how could I have really created and nurtured real, honest, meaningful relationships with anyone? I've had good friends, and still have good friends but never really a tight-knit BFF bond with anyone.
As I continue to work on understanding 100% of me, and continue to be open and honest with my wife and eventually all of my family and friends, then I'll have the foundation for "real friendship" with anyone. So when I do eventually completely and fully "come out" there really aren't many cons (just pros) concerning all the friends I have. If they don't want to continue to be friends with me then no skin off my nose. If they do, then I can focus on building real friendships and maybe even finding a BFF 😜😁 who might be someone I haven't even met yet. How exciting!!
I understand. And it's true for most of us. In the past ten years, I've been open with new friends about myself and learned if they can handle that. Of those that can, many have become close friends of mine, friends who see the real me. You can do this prior to or without transitioning, simply by being open about yourself. You're right that, if you conceal your nature, you never know if "friends" are truly friends.
ReplyDeleteGreat point about it can be done with or without transitioning as you have. There will certainly come I time where I will be completely open and honest with everyone about the real me, and I'll see who supports and accepts me and is worthy of becoming a true, real friend.
DeleteI'm really honestly at the point, but my wife isn't ready yet. I told my 2 youngest daughters the whole story and they have been incredibly understanding and supportive. I know the rest will be supportive too - and I know they kinda know already anyway.
Thanks for reading my blog! :-)
We only ever truly know our true friends when the chips are down. Sometime they will be the people you least expect and those you believe to be true friends aren't. I discovered this when my ex and I split up many years ago and I tell this to Lucy all the time. We look around at the friends we have now and it is so hard to second guess who will still be our friends once Lucy is put nd full time. Only time will tell however as we do lead this double life at the moment we are making new friends who we know will be there as they have only ever known Lucy and not the mask.
ReplyDeleteGreat point Avril, and it pretty much aligns with how I was thinking. Thank you for visiting my blog and commenting. I really enjoy reading yours.. :-)
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