The thing is, I don't know if I have any "real" friends. Don't get me wrong, I have tons of aquantiances that I am certainly friendly with - but I don't think I have any close friends (besides my wife if you count her). The reason I say this is because I've been living a lie, wearing a full body suit and mask of the wrong gender my entire life. No one besides my wife knows the real me - and even that might not be 100% true as I'm still working on understanding 100% of me myself. 😟
I've always had this wall, this barrier to the real me - pretending to be something I'm not. With that ever present how could I have really created and nurtured real, honest, meaningful relationships with anyone? I've had good friends, and still have good friends but never really a tight-knit BFF bond with anyone.
As I continue to work on understanding 100% of me, and continue to be open and honest with my wife and eventually all of my family and friends, then I'll have the foundation for "real friendship" with anyone. So when I do eventually completely and fully "come out" there really aren't many cons (just pros) concerning all the friends I have. If they don't want to continue to be friends with me then no skin off my nose. If they do, then I can focus on building real friendships and maybe even finding a BFF 😜😁 who might be someone I haven't even met yet. How exciting!!
